Morning ritual for Sebastian on the farm means he gets up earlier before everyone else. He helps Ciel get out of bed, dressed him up, and make breakfast. Being the butler, he's very strict on schedule and routine, and everyone needs are met.
Afterward, he'll leave Ciel alone for his studies or to spend time with his friends for the rest of the morning. Sebastian would go outside to manage the farm and supervised the staff for the entire morning. He assigned different people like one to handle livestock, a few to harvest crops and shipped them, and Sebastian would pay them, making sure they're properly compensated, and during the late evening, Sebastian does clerical and accounting to keep track of finances.
After everyone settled down within the first month, it's one of those afternoons where the butler...actually sat down with his Young Lord, to eat and drink with him for afternoon tea.
"Young Master, this is something I had been noticing, but...what happened to your right eye?"
The clinic provided modern medicine for pain, and all Sebastian knew he had a surgery in the other world. The doctors and medicine here are modern enough to make sure the healing and recovery went smoothly. But Sebastian brought it up because he want to discuss it, as the right eye contains the seal that ties their bond and contract together.
Most times, Sebastian may find Ciel already up with Undertaker, their currently small house making it hard for him to sleep through anyone moving about.
Ciel has settled into a pattern by then, kind of, so when Sebastian sat with him suddenly, he almost choked on his tea. Better than it coming out of his nose though. That question-
Well, he shouldn't be so surprised, actually. Really, the teen had expected it sooner. There wasn't a reason for him to be worried either, Ciel knew he was safe. The people here would notice a suddenly dead teenager, Undertaker would surely know the cause.
He took a moment then, sipping at his tea, thinking on how to answer.
"My eye... I had Doctor Crusher remove it in Riverview. After a year, it seemed easier to remove it than explain it away after getting my memories back or whatever else might happen."
With having the Undertaker and the Senior Phanthomhive, his father, as a fellow housemate, which is...very odd to him, to have a reaper being treated almost as close as a family member. Still, Sebastian's role is to make sure there are order and organization in the household, that's the butler duty after all, and from his point of view, everyone looks so...haggard and downcast from their adventure in Riverview.
Sebastian is curious and he wanted to ask. The removal of his eye...he can't reveal to Young Master, that the strength of their bond significantly weakened as that eye has their contract imprinted for the purpose of increasing the strength of his powers. For Sebastian, that means he has to obey Ciel relying on his strength alone and not by verbal command.
"I see. But what I'm trying to understand is this...why do you surgically remove it? Was it an injury? A disease? An infection? Or is there another reason...?" A condition of that world, perhaps? The demon is trying to understand his Young Master's experience in that world in Riverview.
"My memories of you are still fresh from our original world. After all, for me, it seems like yesterday I tucked you in bed for the night."
Especially since they all knew, or he assumed, what Undertaker had been up to all this time. They both at least knew he was a reaper, that the Bizarre Dolls were his work. Although, their time in Riverview had been pleasant. Up until tier departure.
Ciel chewed his lip for a moment, thinking over how to phrase his answer. It hadn't been something he'd thought he'd have to explain at any point. He hadn't planned on leaving the other world after all. Except to go to the Capital World some day. Maybe.
"Safety. Living in Riverview, there was no fulfilling the contract. No revenge. It was a forced abandonment of our contracts terms. And I... grew happy. Living a life there. Different as it was from being a noble."
Like Sebastian had suggested when Victoria had given him his title. A happy life. He'd rejected it then, full of anger and a burning need for revenge. Being forced to live a normal life though because of his age?
He'd slowly learned the appeal. Even learned to cook a little.
With Undertaker being the reaper, that puts Sebastian on alert to his company, and he's watching him under his own surveillance. Being a demon at his own nature, he's naturally distrustful of any reapers in general, especially the likes of him. And if Ciel bid him the order to fight him, he will.
Sebastian listened and sipped his tea. He listened carefully. So he underwent surgery because he changed his path and wanted a different life than he normally lived. Under normal circumstances, that means Ciel gave up his revenge and his life as an Earl. The contract seal on his eye meant everything as the contract is absolute.
If Ciel confessed this to a normal Sebastian, the demon would have eaten him and devoured here and now. After all, he threw away his revenge, so right now his life served no purpose in this realm and his soul...is right here for the taking. Technically, speaking.
"So you gave up your contract just for that reason?" He would have pressed the young Earl with more questions, but the frail young man is already tired as his body is trying to heal that wound eye along with the pain medications.
With a sigh, as Sebastian shrugged his shoulders, almost sagging, tired even as a demon can be tired. Luckily for Ciel, this Sebastian is different and perhaps more merciful, as he came from another universe where he has a bigger perspective on his young Master's dilemma with the missing eye. With no visible contract to bind them together, then what are they?
Still, there is a certain tension between the both of them. He already suspected that the Young Master was already worried about with questions that he didn't dare to ask and that was why they're having this talk now. He planned ahead, hoping he wouldn't afraid of his reaction...which wasn't anger, not at all. Just a setback. "The loss of your eye will cause a predicament for me. It simply means whenever you need me at your beck and call, you just have to rely on the phone."
Before Ciel caught on what he means, Sebastian explains, smiling sadly, "It simply means I see you more than a contract imprinted on your eye. I'm still wagering on your soul and your heart. Those are more important things to you, my dear Earl. So, if you lose more of yourself, I'll just use more of my strength to aid you, but you need to ask and call upon me. I choose to remain by your side until the very end. What kind of butler I'll be if your problem puts my loyalty into question?"
With a thought, "Long ago, there are guardian angels of heaven who will assist humans without asking for anything in return. They had done so on their own accord and free-will. As to why they did so, serving a human, they were hoping to gain souls toward their own favor. So, that's what I shall be doing as well in the same vein."
In other words, Sebastian still thinks he's worth it, despite his loss and Ciel, if he wanted to learn to cook, play the violin, or read a book, he shall learn.
It was that he was absolutely and totally avoiding Astre because of his own stupidity and the Phantomhive manor was perfectly big enough to avoid its lord for several days.
How could he be so fucking stupid? How could he ruin EVERYTHING?! He hadn't MEANT to say it, he had every intention of taking his feelings to his grave and never letting the other boy know.
Ritsuka inhaled as he sat in some empty room in one of the wings of the manor, currently using it as his momentary hiding place. He had the book he snuck out from the library in his lap but he couldn't focus on a single letter, instead only thinking about the... ugh... the worst confession he had ever given.
He groaned and covered his face.
Why did he have to always fuck things up?
It had been dinner and they were just finishing dessert when Astre had made some comment about Lizzie. Ritsuka liked the girl enough just fine but considering the whole... mess with Astre's twin the last thing Ritsuka wanted to do was add his own bullshit problems to the pile. But no, no he had to completely ruin EVERYTHING because Astre mentioned her and then one thing led to another and Ritsuka had gotten so riled up about what Astre was saying and the next thing he knew, Ritsuka had blurted out:
"Well I love you!"
The whole table had gone quiet and he didn't even wait for Astre's reaction because he bolted and he could conveniently outrun the asthmatic. He didn't LEAVE the manor because, well the catboy didn't exactly have anywhere else to go and the streets of London weren't exactly welcoming to a magical catboy with a mother who was abusive, a father who was neglectful, and a brother who was one of the most wanted serial killers in the country.
And then it became a game of hide and seek... Assuming Astre was even looking for him. Sebastian always knew where he was because... well, Sebastian, but for whatever reason Astre hadn't sent the demon after him, something he was grateful for.
He rubbed his face and sighed. He really missed his bed too. Since he was avoiding Astre, that meant avoiding his room as well. He had mostly been sleeping in chairs and in windowsills at night. He figured it was Sebastian who kept putting the blanket on him when he finally fell asleep.
He stood up, time to move to another room before freezing mid-motion. His tail frizzing out and his ears bent back.
He knew he was being avoided. And knew he wouldn't be able to catch Ritsuka immediately. If he'd even been able to move after that confession. For a few minutes, or what felt like it, Astre sat frozen in his seat, fork halfway to his mouth and blood chilling a little.
Well, I love you!
The words echoed in his ears but he could hear Sebastian at his side: Should I go after him, young master?
What would he do if he said yes? Find him? Drag him back? And then what? Astre was still trying to process what he'd heard. Especially after years of believing himself unworthy of love or care, of being his brother because everyone wanted him more. Right?
"Just... keep an eye on him. But let him alone."
Maybe they both could use a little bit of time to let it sink in but Astre still started to look for him by the next day. He put off any work that needed done, although it had earned him a minor scolding from Sebastian that he brushed aside.
It had been years since he'd had to fully explore the manor, not since he and Ciel used to play and pretend it was an adventure of some sort. Now he realized how terribly inconvenient it was for the servants, even if they'd had more than they likely needed, to follow the twins about and clean after them. And to ensure Astre didn't have an asthmatic fit.
He could still remember his way around clearly though and when he finally found the cat-boy...
Astre froze, breath caught in his throat and then swallowing hard as he closed the distance between them. He still didn't know what to say so he just hugged him instead.
He was trying very hard not to panic, not to run, but especially not to cry. He closed his eyes, just waiting now for the screams to "GET OUT" and "DON'T COME BACK" to fill the air like they had with his mother not so many years ago.
He waited and waited... He heard the footsteps coming towards him. He deserved to be slapped, he clenched his fists, preparing for the blow to come. He was good at taking a hit, Ciel wasn't as strong as his mother, anyways, it wouldn't hurt that much.
He waited.
Only for his eyes to snap open as he was being hugged instead. He initially stiffened in Ciel's grip. Both of them were always initially hesitant with physical affection, even with each other, before he melted into it like he always did.
He swallowed and his arms hung at his sides for a little bit, trying to figure out if this was a dream.
But if it was a dream, he also wanted to take full advantage of it. He reached up and hugged Astre back, closing his eyes again and inhaling deeply.
There were a few other reasons. A brief glimpse before the Portal had latched onto him. Enough spoken exchange to set him on edge. A question of his identity came up, his position, all from the moment he'd set foot in that door. And he didn't know how much the demon knew about all that yet.
Hearing those words though, Ciel perks up a little, eye going wide in surprise. Seeing him as more than just the contract? A meal? It was... more than he'd dared hope. He'd counted on the lack of contract protecting him but it seemed it wasn't necessary.
"I'll be sure to call you then." Oh, but there was more. and that might have been the most interesting thing he'd heard yet in his arguably short life. "Is it normal? For a demon to basically do the same?"
There isn't any need for Ciel to explain further. Whatever reason he give, the demon accepts it. The decision has already been made, and at least now, the demon can serve him better with more efficiency. There is still the revenge that hasn't been fulfilled. So the demon must abide by the contract. He can see the hope stirring and since the demon cannot tell lies, he want to make it clear it wasn't false hope either.
"Some contracts are not visible by the eyes alone. It can be only be felt." It's true, the mark of his eye is gone and it was proof of their bond. But pain and suffering will only make it deeper. And the demon valued the pain of sacrifice more than anything else.
"No. Some demons won't be merciful or kind, but some do make personal choices. I just happened to think there is some other way we can do until your revenge is obtained." Though even if he threw his revenge away or isn't feeling it, that doesn't mean the game of winning his soul is over. "I may be a beast, but I'm not illogical or unreasonable."
Sebastian's selfish is endless, and souls are valuable. "So yes, use the phone and call for me. I'm still in your service until the very end. And believe me when I said this, but you're allowed to command me and be selfish, and if your request is reasonable, it can be done and I can carry it out."
Very hesitant. Normally. This wasn't exactly normal though, was it? Ritsuka was important to him- had become important to him. They could relate to each other easier than they could with most others. Ritsuka was one of very few people he really let close to him or touch him, even curling up together sometimes to sleep.
Sebastian found it equal parts humorous and adorable, but he let the boys go. What worries did he have for them being close? English society only mattered to him as far as appearances for his young Master.
If that meant growing feelings for a certain cat-boy... well, so long as both were happy.
Astre still isn't the best at happiness or showing affection but the hug, at least, was a good start. Once Ritsuka started to return the hug, Astre gave him a bit of a squeeze and held on just a little longer.
"Why don't we... have tea... or something?" Tea was easy, it was a good fallback for him. Something calming, somewhere comfy. Somewhere they could just let down all their walls and find proper footing with this.
Things has been uneventful and stressful as of late, though it may not seem like it. Otherwise, they haven't talked that all much other than the usual in their routine and only work-related conversation. He's a busy demon where time, by human standards, is a luxury and as the head butler, he is always precise and exact with his schedule and managing the schedules and wages of his staff and their time.
With the appearance of the twin brother, there's been a change in the dynamic of the household. Being a senior butler equal to that of being a manager as Sebastian's job only concerns is to maintain the house.
The last time they had a serious discussion, it was that afternoon when they had tea together and he sensed Astre wanted a list of clear terms of their contract...or lack of it now the contract is broken. With the seal of his eye gone, there is no leash and therefore, the demon could possibly be not under Astre's control at all. So what is it that cemented their bond without a contract? Besides reapers, a demon without a leash and operating on free-will is the most dangerous creature of them all.
Up until now, he didn't mind the company and friends that Astre kept. He understood that his family is all he has and that Sebastian is, but a servant. However, with the brother and the conflict of interests he brought...
So, one afternoon when he has spare moments of time, he took Astre to the field, his field where Sebastian grew a garden of flowers on his private farm, his territory where no reapers or human beings are absolutely allowed on the premises though Astre is an exception. The sun is bright, the autumn air is crisp, and the leaves of the tree had fallen and turned gold, yellow, and orange. He need a spare moment with him...alone just long enough to have a talk, to have a talk outside and away from Astre's house (and the damned twin who is hellbent to be reattached to his Young Master's hip)...on the demon's own terms.
"Young Master if you can come with me, please. I haven't seen much of you as of late." Though he had seen him everyday and kept his promise that he will never leave his side, although that's during when the demon is working for him within his butler aesthetics.
"It's been a quite a while since I last have your company. That's why I brought you here to my garden." A pause, a beat, then a sigh. "Up until now, are you truly happy here? Do you ever desire to return to England and go back home?" The demon is curious and his eyes searching him, to see if Astre is willing to be honest with him and tell the truth as what the demon is looking for is his Young Master's emotional and mental state.
He hadn't really been expecting anything like the invitation from Sebastian but he knew he was safe. At least, mostly safe. In a world not their own, who could say what would be safe and what wasn't? And he kept his jPad on him, just in case, most times. Like in the mine.
Astre had found a thick blue sweater for the cooling weather and had bundled up in that, and a light pair of boots over his jeans. Riverview had been good for adjusting his thoughts on clothing and what might be comfortable anymore. He couldn't imagine going back to wearing the heeled shoes he'd worn in England, especially with the soft inserts in shoes her found here.
"Is everything alright, Sebastian?" They all seemed to have been settling alright. At least, Sebastian, Undertaker, and himself. His twin was still expecting better living like a noble might.
That question did throw him a little off-balance though, and the teen stared for a moment. Then he started fiddling with his sleeves as he thought. It didn't take much, he knew his answer, but it was a lot.
"Not... really. It's different here but I like it better than England. My health is better and the house is... cozy. Not like the manor. And last time I was there, Ciel had come home. Agni... and Soma... I don't want to see the prince's face now. I'd have to if I went back."
That is quite true. As long they are in this world, Astre is safe and happy and in better health. The young Earl has plenty of space to think about certain events and plenty of time to sort out his relationship with whatever family he has left, especially his long lost twin brother (even if the demon found him to be quite repugnant, but time can only tell).
If he returned to England, what to say if the forces of the Law seek to arrest the both of them? And Sebastian is certainly his accomplice, helping him, and staying by his side as his servant. By staying in the valley, the two of them are fugitives.
At least, the demon now know that Astre did like it here, and that he does preferred living here. For Sebastian, that means his home in his valley is important and that's good enough for him. "Everything is all right." The butler said and he relaxed a little, and expression soften. "I just wanted to be sure of you...that this is what you truly wanted." After all, without the contract, Astre did indeed ask quite a lot of him from the demon's point of view, though much of tasks doesn't stretch the demon's powers to the limit. To the demon and his kind, human is their livestock, and human souls is a source of food, but the demon begin to see that Astre maybe more than just food and beyond that...a friend he truly cares for. Everything the demon built so far, from the land to the house, to work without a contract and expect nothing in return, and there's a risk for the demon to do all of this and go home to the Underworld empty-handed.
"The original contract, we agreed that I will help you obtain your revenge. That won't change." Sebastian plucked a flower from his garden, a white lily with it's petals and signature curl, and Sebastian bend over to place the flower in Astre's hands. It was his gift to him and he hoped his chosen soul like it. "After all, everything you sacrificed so far, no sacrifice you made and no pain and suffering you endured is a small thing."
While Astre is given a moment to admire the flower, "Even if the contract is gone, and even now, I choose to remain by your side. I am on your side, my Lord." And the demon already made up that he will always will. "You know, knights especially knights of nobility, they choose to remain loyal to their lords, even if there is no reward in their loyalty and their service. A good knight is someone who believes in fighting for the right causes and there are those who fight for justice, and many fight basing on faith alone. Some are willing to die for it, even if it's a hopeless crusade." A desperate crusade built on despair.
"Well, I just wanted to say I brought you here because I wanted to tell you that I have faith in you and whatever you do and that I'm willing to fight for you. So whatever you wanted to do now...just keep going. Because on days on this...simple days. I happen to like it a lot."
He did try not to bother Sebastian too much, tried to be more independent and capable. There was a lot he was trying to learn and do without needing the help of his butler or Undertaker. Tried not to be as useless as he probably was in England. Actually, as much as he knew he was in England, always depending on Sebastian for some part of the Watch Dog's duty or another, as well as work around the manor and Music Hall.
"You'd still stand by it? Really?" The flower came as a surprise but it did make him smile. And he did spend a moment or two just admiring it. It isn't a sterling rose but it was still lovely. And it accented the demon's words well. Undertaker may remain cautious, and Astre a bit too, but he at least trusted that he was still being genuine.
It was still something for him to get used to. Although it was getting easier, the longer they were all there.
"You're sure you're a demon anymore?" Came a light tease.
It's good that Astre is still trying his best with whatever strength he has left. Otherwise, the demon wouldn't fight for such a weak soul. "My, my, and I make such an effort in my grand speech to prove myself. You bid me to never to lie to you on that sad day when we first met."
At seeing Astre smiling a bit, even teasing a little, and relaxed considerably around him. That's what the demon is aiming for. For Astre to trust him. Whatever doubt his twin and the undertaker are trying to plant in his mind, this is the demon's way to fight back without raising a hand, a fist, or throwing silverware. "I made my choice." He didn't want to leave any room of doubt, but Astre is free to question the demon.
Being good-naturedly, "I think you don't want a repeat of what happened when we were doing an investigation on the Green Witch in Germany. At that time, I lost my temper and patience with you when I thought you had lost your resolve. I think I gave you a heart attack and your heart nearly stopped when you see my true form." Smirking, just a tad bit. "Though at that moment, I did wonder if I devoured your heart back then, what it would taste like."
Though at this point, Astre may have lost a lot of his resolve during his time in Riverview and they came to this. However, being in another world, Sebastian may have learned to be more patient and taking his time with him. After all, Astre is still standing here, contract right eye missing, and the demon banters with him in his own garden.
He nodded and when they finally got situated with tea, sitting in the sunroom of the manor. Of course, with it being England the sky was mostly gray and cloudy but at least it wasn't raining. He sipped his tea, perfect as always from Sebastian but didn't see the demon in sight after he had announced what the snacks were.
He sat in silence for a bit and then took a deep breath.
"About... about what I said..." he whispered, holding onto his teacup to hide his shaking hands, though some tea did spill onto them. Did he feel the same way? Did he not and just wanted to stay friends? Ritsuka was scared to push but he wanted to know where they stood. "I- you don't have to... we can pretend it never- it never got said i-if you want."
There, he would offer Astre an out. Ritsuka had had his one-sided crush for this long, what was a little longer? Like his entire life?
It was gray and cloudy but it somehow suited the tense mood surrounding them both. Ritsuka in his fear and Astre in his. One from rejection and one from simple not knowing how to handle these feelings.
"I..." For a moment, he felt like he was choking on his words, lifting his cup to his lips and taking a slow sip. Part of him hoped it would help him find the words he needed. After a moment, he sets his cup down on its saucer nad just reaches across the table to take his hand.
"I don't know... how to do any of this... or if I'd even be any good for you." He knew he was doomed, after all, with a demons mark on his eye. It felt unfair to Ritsuka but Astre had become much more selfish a creature since he'd met Sebastian.
There was a soft chuckle, so much lighter than any of his laughter in the past few years. There's no bitterness anymore, just genuine humor. He could definitely remember the terms of the contract, with how he'd struggled to find a way to make their deal fair and just the tiniest bit in his favor.
And then the mention of Germany and he couldn't help a faint shiver. It had been awful, he hated thinking of it. Especially as he'd only regained his sight again while he'd flailed and lost his temper. "I'm grateful that you didn't. Despite the issues back in England, I rather like the way things have gone now."
And, this way, they're all at least kind of happy? He knew he was, he hoped everyone else was as well. Sebastian could at least have his cats now, Undertaker had the twins safe and alive, Ciel had his twin, and Astre had learned to make friends and how to be happy again.
"Like... like I said, you can forget about what I said, I don't... that would be the one thing I'd be okay with you forgetting when it comes to me. I didn't mean... I didn't mean to put that burden on you, Astre..." he looked down at his hands. Because his love could only ever be a burden.
"You don't need to tell me anything about how you feel... don't... rush or feel like you have to return anything. Just... like I said, this is the one thing I'd be okay with you forgetting if that's what you wanted. Or... if you want me out of the manor, I understand that too."
He lifted his head to stare at Ritsuka for a moment, making sure he heard the other boy right. Forget what he said? That was impossible, really. And he didn't want to.
So he stopped for a moment, clenching and unclenching his hands a couple times, before he closes the distance between them. His cheeks were stained pink, and he looked unsure of himself but didn't stop him. Once he once close enough, one hand settled on his shoulder and he leaned in close.
His eyes widened when he was suddenly kissed on the cheek. He went bright red and cleared his throat. He swallowed and, with Ciel so close, he licked his lips and caught Ciel's mouth, if only for a moment.
His ears pressed against his head as he looked at Ciel, swallowing again.
There was a little squeak of surprise but he didn't push Ritsuka away. Or object. He let himself be kissed, and let his cheeks start to burn a bright red. He hadn't been kissed like that...
well, ever. At least, not by someone he knows and cares about and never so sweetly. Brief as it was.
"I'm not sure... I never... felt attraction to anyone before." He clears his throat a little. "Not with anyone my same gender."
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Afterward, he'll leave Ciel alone for his studies or to spend time with his friends for the rest of the morning. Sebastian would go outside to manage the farm and supervised the staff for the entire morning. He assigned different people like one to handle livestock, a few to harvest crops and shipped them, and Sebastian would pay them, making sure they're properly compensated, and during the late evening, Sebastian does clerical and accounting to keep track of finances.
After everyone settled down within the first month, it's one of those afternoons where the butler...actually sat down with his Young Lord, to eat and drink with him for afternoon tea.
"Young Master, this is something I had been noticing, but...what happened to your right eye?"
The clinic provided modern medicine for pain, and all Sebastian knew he had a surgery in the other world. The doctors and medicine here are modern enough to make sure the healing and recovery went smoothly. But Sebastian brought it up because he want to discuss it, as the right eye contains the seal that ties their bond and contract together.
"I'm just curious what is the reason for it."
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Ciel has settled into a pattern by then, kind of, so when Sebastian sat with him suddenly, he almost choked on his tea. Better than it coming out of his nose though. That question-
Well, he shouldn't be so surprised, actually. Really, the teen had expected it sooner. There wasn't a reason for him to be worried either, Ciel knew he was safe. The people here would notice a suddenly dead teenager, Undertaker would surely know the cause.
He took a moment then, sipping at his tea, thinking on how to answer.
"My eye... I had Doctor Crusher remove it in Riverview. After a year, it seemed easier to remove it than explain it away after getting my memories back or whatever else might happen."
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Sebastian is curious and he wanted to ask. The removal of his eye...he can't reveal to Young Master, that the strength of their bond significantly weakened as that eye has their contract imprinted for the purpose of increasing the strength of his powers. For Sebastian, that means he has to obey Ciel relying on his strength alone and not by verbal command.
"I see. But what I'm trying to understand is this...why do you surgically remove it? Was it an injury? A disease? An infection? Or is there another reason...?" A condition of that world, perhaps? The demon is trying to understand his Young Master's experience in that world in Riverview.
"My memories of you are still fresh from our original world. After all, for me, it seems like yesterday I tucked you in bed for the night."
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Ciel chewed his lip for a moment, thinking over how to phrase his answer. It hadn't been something he'd thought he'd have to explain at any point. He hadn't planned on leaving the other world after all. Except to go to the Capital World some day. Maybe.
"Safety. Living in Riverview, there was no fulfilling the contract. No revenge. It was a forced abandonment of our contracts terms. And I... grew happy. Living a life there. Different as it was from being a noble."
Like Sebastian had suggested when Victoria had given him his title. A happy life. He'd rejected it then, full of anger and a burning need for revenge. Being forced to live a normal life though because of his age?
He'd slowly learned the appeal. Even learned to cook a little.
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With Undertaker being the reaper, that puts Sebastian on alert to his company, and he's watching him under his own surveillance. Being a demon at his own nature, he's naturally distrustful of any reapers in general, especially the likes of him. And if Ciel bid him the order to fight him, he will.
Sebastian listened and sipped his tea. He listened carefully. So he underwent surgery because he changed his path and wanted a different life than he normally lived. Under normal circumstances, that means Ciel gave up his revenge and his life as an Earl. The contract seal on his eye meant everything as the contract is absolute.
If Ciel confessed this to a normal Sebastian, the demon would have eaten him and devoured here and now. After all, he threw away his revenge, so right now his life served no purpose in this realm and his soul...is right here for the taking. Technically, speaking.
"So you gave up your contract just for that reason?" He would have pressed the young Earl with more questions, but the frail young man is already tired as his body is trying to heal that wound eye along with the pain medications.
With a sigh, as Sebastian shrugged his shoulders, almost sagging, tired even as a demon can be tired. Luckily for Ciel, this Sebastian is different and perhaps more merciful, as he came from another universe where he has a bigger perspective on his young Master's dilemma with the missing eye. With no visible contract to bind them together, then what are they?
Still, there is a certain tension between the both of them. He already suspected that the Young Master was already worried about with questions that he didn't dare to ask and that was why they're having this talk now. He planned ahead, hoping he wouldn't afraid of his reaction...which wasn't anger, not at all. Just a setback. "The loss of your eye will cause a predicament for me. It simply means whenever you need me at your beck and call, you just have to rely on the phone."
Before Ciel caught on what he means, Sebastian explains, smiling sadly, "It simply means I see you more than a contract imprinted on your eye. I'm still wagering on your soul and your heart. Those are more important things to you, my dear Earl. So, if you lose more of yourself, I'll just use more of my strength to aid you, but you need to ask and call upon me. I choose to remain by your side until the very end. What kind of butler I'll be if your problem puts my loyalty into question?"
With a thought, "Long ago, there are guardian angels of heaven who will assist humans without asking for anything in return. They had done so on their own accord and free-will. As to why they did so, serving a human, they were hoping to gain souls toward their own favor. So, that's what I shall be doing as well in the same vein."
In other words, Sebastian still thinks he's worth it, despite his loss and Ciel, if he wanted to learn to cook, play the violin, or read a book, he shall learn.
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It was that he was absolutely and totally avoiding Astre because of his own stupidity and the Phantomhive manor was perfectly big enough to avoid its lord for several days.
How could he be so fucking stupid? How could he ruin EVERYTHING?! He hadn't MEANT to say it, he had every intention of taking his feelings to his grave and never letting the other boy know.
Ritsuka inhaled as he sat in some empty room in one of the wings of the manor, currently using it as his momentary hiding place. He had the book he snuck out from the library in his lap but he couldn't focus on a single letter, instead only thinking about the... ugh... the worst confession he had ever given.
He groaned and covered his face.
Why did he have to always fuck things up?
It had been dinner and they were just finishing dessert when Astre had made some comment about Lizzie. Ritsuka liked the girl enough just fine but considering the whole... mess with Astre's twin the last thing Ritsuka wanted to do was add his own bullshit problems to the pile. But no, no he had to completely ruin EVERYTHING because Astre mentioned her and then one thing led to another and Ritsuka had gotten so riled up about what Astre was saying and the next thing he knew, Ritsuka had blurted out:
"Well I love you!"
The whole table had gone quiet and he didn't even wait for Astre's reaction because he bolted and he could conveniently outrun the asthmatic. He didn't LEAVE the manor because, well the catboy didn't exactly have anywhere else to go and the streets of London weren't exactly welcoming to a magical catboy with a mother who was abusive, a father who was neglectful, and a brother who was one of the most wanted serial killers in the country.
And then it became a game of hide and seek... Assuming Astre was even looking for him. Sebastian always knew where he was because... well, Sebastian, but for whatever reason Astre hadn't sent the demon after him, something he was grateful for.
He rubbed his face and sighed. He really missed his bed too. Since he was avoiding Astre, that meant avoiding his room as well. He had mostly been sleeping in chairs and in windowsills at night. He figured it was Sebastian who kept putting the blanket on him when he finally fell asleep.
He stood up, time to move to another room before freezing mid-motion. His tail frizzing out and his ears bent back.
"Astre..."
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Well, I love you!
The words echoed in his ears but he could hear Sebastian at his side: Should I go after him, young master?
What would he do if he said yes? Find him? Drag him back? And then what? Astre was still trying to process what he'd heard. Especially after years of believing himself unworthy of love or care, of being his brother because everyone wanted him more. Right?
"Just... keep an eye on him. But let him alone."
Maybe they both could use a little bit of time to let it sink in but Astre still started to look for him by the next day. He put off any work that needed done, although it had earned him a minor scolding from Sebastian that he brushed aside.
It had been years since he'd had to fully explore the manor, not since he and Ciel used to play and pretend it was an adventure of some sort. Now he realized how terribly inconvenient it was for the servants, even if they'd had more than they likely needed, to follow the twins about and clean after them. And to ensure Astre didn't have an asthmatic fit.
He could still remember his way around clearly though and when he finally found the cat-boy...
Astre froze, breath caught in his throat and then swallowing hard as he closed the distance between them. He still didn't know what to say so he just hugged him instead.
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He waited and waited... He heard the footsteps coming towards him. He deserved to be slapped, he clenched his fists, preparing for the blow to come. He was good at taking a hit, Ciel wasn't as strong as his mother, anyways, it wouldn't hurt that much.
He waited.
Only for his eyes to snap open as he was being hugged instead. He initially stiffened in Ciel's grip. Both of them were always initially hesitant with physical affection, even with each other, before he melted into it like he always did.
He swallowed and his arms hung at his sides for a little bit, trying to figure out if this was a dream.
But if it was a dream, he also wanted to take full advantage of it. He reached up and hugged Astre back, closing his eyes again and inhaling deeply.
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Hearing those words though, Ciel perks up a little, eye going wide in surprise. Seeing him as more than just the contract? A meal? It was... more than he'd dared hope. He'd counted on the lack of contract protecting him but it seemed it wasn't necessary.
"I'll be sure to call you then." Oh, but there was more. and that might have been the most interesting thing he'd heard yet in his arguably short life. "Is it normal? For a demon to basically do the same?"
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"Some contracts are not visible by the eyes alone. It can be only be felt." It's true, the mark of his eye is gone and it was proof of their bond. But pain and suffering will only make it deeper. And the demon valued the pain of sacrifice more than anything else.
"No. Some demons won't be merciful or kind, but some do make personal choices. I just happened to think there is some other way we can do until your revenge is obtained." Though even if he threw his revenge away or isn't feeling it, that doesn't mean the game of winning his soul is over. "I may be a beast, but I'm not illogical or unreasonable."
Sebastian's selfish is endless, and souls are valuable. "So yes, use the phone and call for me. I'm still in your service until the very end. And believe me when I said this, but you're allowed to command me and be selfish, and if your request is reasonable, it can be done and I can carry it out."
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Sebastian found it equal parts humorous and adorable, but he let the boys go. What worries did he have for them being close? English society only mattered to him as far as appearances for his young Master.
If that meant growing feelings for a certain cat-boy... well, so long as both were happy.
Astre still isn't the best at happiness or showing affection but the hug, at least, was a good start. Once Ritsuka started to return the hug, Astre gave him a bit of a squeeze and held on just a little longer.
"Why don't we... have tea... or something?" Tea was easy, it was a good fallback for him. Something calming, somewhere comfy. Somewhere they could just let down all their walls and find proper footing with this.
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With the appearance of the twin brother, there's been a change in the dynamic of the household. Being a senior butler equal to that of being a manager as Sebastian's job only concerns is to maintain the house.
The last time they had a serious discussion, it was that afternoon when they had tea together and he sensed Astre wanted a list of clear terms of their contract...or lack of it now the contract is broken. With the seal of his eye gone, there is no leash and therefore, the demon could possibly be not under Astre's control at all. So what is it that cemented their bond without a contract? Besides reapers, a demon without a leash and operating on free-will is the most dangerous creature of them all.
Up until now, he didn't mind the company and friends that Astre kept. He understood that his family is all he has and that Sebastian is, but a servant. However, with the brother and the conflict of interests he brought...
So, one afternoon when he has spare moments of time, he took Astre to the field, his field where Sebastian grew a garden of flowers on his private farm, his territory where no reapers or human beings are absolutely allowed on the premises though Astre is an exception. The sun is bright, the autumn air is crisp, and the leaves of the tree had fallen and turned gold, yellow, and orange. He need a spare moment with him...alone just long enough to have a talk, to have a talk outside and away from Astre's house (and the damned twin who is hellbent to be reattached to his Young Master's hip)...on the demon's own terms.
"Young Master if you can come with me, please. I haven't seen much of you as of late." Though he had seen him everyday and kept his promise that he will never leave his side, although that's during when the demon is working for him within his butler aesthetics.
"It's been a quite a while since I last have your company. That's why I brought you here to my garden." A pause, a beat, then a sigh. "Up until now, are you truly happy here? Do you ever desire to return to England and go back home?" The demon is curious and his eyes searching him, to see if Astre is willing to be honest with him and tell the truth as what the demon is looking for is his Young Master's emotional and mental state.
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Astre had found a thick blue sweater for the cooling weather and had bundled up in that, and a light pair of boots over his jeans. Riverview had been good for adjusting his thoughts on clothing and what might be comfortable anymore. He couldn't imagine going back to wearing the heeled shoes he'd worn in England, especially with the soft inserts in shoes her found here.
"Is everything alright, Sebastian?" They all seemed to have been settling alright. At least, Sebastian, Undertaker, and himself. His twin was still expecting better living like a noble might.
That question did throw him a little off-balance though, and the teen stared for a moment. Then he started fiddling with his sleeves as he thought. It didn't take much, he knew his answer, but it was a lot.
"Not... really. It's different here but I like it better than England. My health is better and the house is... cozy. Not like the manor. And last time I was there, Ciel had come home. Agni... and Soma... I don't want to see the prince's face now. I'd have to if I went back."
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If he returned to England, what to say if the forces of the Law seek to arrest the both of them? And Sebastian is certainly his accomplice, helping him, and staying by his side as his servant. By staying in the valley, the two of them are fugitives.
At least, the demon now know that Astre did like it here, and that he does preferred living here. For Sebastian, that means his home in his valley is important and that's good enough for him. "Everything is all right." The butler said and he relaxed a little, and expression soften. "I just wanted to be sure of you...that this is what you truly wanted." After all, without the contract, Astre did indeed ask quite a lot of him from the demon's point of view, though much of tasks doesn't stretch the demon's powers to the limit. To the demon and his kind, human is their livestock, and human souls is a source of food, but the demon begin to see that Astre maybe more than just food and beyond that...a friend he truly cares for. Everything the demon built so far, from the land to the house, to work without a contract and expect nothing in return, and there's a risk for the demon to do all of this and go home to the Underworld empty-handed.
"The original contract, we agreed that I will help you obtain your revenge. That won't change." Sebastian plucked a flower from his garden, a white lily with it's petals and signature curl, and Sebastian bend over to place the flower in Astre's hands. It was his gift to him and he hoped his chosen soul like it. "After all, everything you sacrificed so far, no sacrifice you made and no pain and suffering you endured is a small thing."
While Astre is given a moment to admire the flower, "Even if the contract is gone, and even now, I choose to remain by your side. I am on your side, my Lord." And the demon already made up that he will always will. "You know, knights especially knights of nobility, they choose to remain loyal to their lords, even if there is no reward in their loyalty and their service. A good knight is someone who believes in fighting for the right causes and there are those who fight for justice, and many fight basing on faith alone. Some are willing to die for it, even if it's a hopeless crusade." A desperate crusade built on despair.
"Well, I just wanted to say I brought you here because I wanted to tell you that I have faith in you and whatever you do and that I'm willing to fight for you. So whatever you wanted to do now...just keep going. Because on days on this...simple days. I happen to like it a lot."
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"You'd still stand by it? Really?" The flower came as a surprise but it did make him smile. And he did spend a moment or two just admiring it. It isn't a sterling rose but it was still lovely. And it accented the demon's words well. Undertaker may remain cautious, and Astre a bit too, but he at least trusted that he was still being genuine.
It was still something for him to get used to. Although it was getting easier, the longer they were all there.
"You're sure you're a demon anymore?" Came a light tease.
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At seeing Astre smiling a bit, even teasing a little, and relaxed considerably around him. That's what the demon is aiming for. For Astre to trust him. Whatever doubt his twin and the undertaker are trying to plant in his mind, this is the demon's way to fight back without raising a hand, a fist, or throwing silverware. "I made my choice." He didn't want to leave any room of doubt, but Astre is free to question the demon.
Being good-naturedly, "I think you don't want a repeat of what happened when we were doing an investigation on the Green Witch in Germany. At that time, I lost my temper and patience with you when I thought you had lost your resolve. I think I gave you a heart attack and your heart nearly stopped when you see my true form." Smirking, just a tad bit. "Though at that moment, I did wonder if I devoured your heart back then, what it would taste like."
Though at this point, Astre may have lost a lot of his resolve during his time in Riverview and they came to this. However, being in another world, Sebastian may have learned to be more patient and taking his time with him. After all, Astre is still standing here, contract right eye missing, and the demon banters with him in his own garden.
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He sat in silence for a bit and then took a deep breath.
"About... about what I said..." he whispered, holding onto his teacup to hide his shaking hands, though some tea did spill onto them. Did he feel the same way? Did he not and just wanted to stay friends? Ritsuka was scared to push but he wanted to know where they stood. "I- you don't have to... we can pretend it never- it never got said i-if you want."
There, he would offer Astre an out. Ritsuka had had his one-sided crush for this long, what was a little longer? Like his entire life?
He looked away.
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"I..." For a moment, he felt like he was choking on his words, lifting his cup to his lips and taking a slow sip. Part of him hoped it would help him find the words he needed. After a moment, he sets his cup down on its saucer nad just reaches across the table to take his hand.
"I don't know... how to do any of this... or if I'd even be any good for you." He knew he was doomed, after all, with a demons mark on his eye. It felt unfair to Ritsuka but Astre had become much more selfish a creature since he'd met Sebastian.
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And then the mention of Germany and he couldn't help a faint shiver. It had been awful, he hated thinking of it. Especially as he'd only regained his sight again while he'd flailed and lost his temper. "I'm grateful that you didn't. Despite the issues back in England, I rather like the way things have gone now."
And, this way, they're all at least kind of happy? He knew he was, he hoped everyone else was as well. Sebastian could at least have his cats now, Undertaker had the twins safe and alive, Ciel had his twin, and Astre had learned to make friends and how to be happy again.
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"You don't need to tell me anything about how you feel... don't... rush or feel like you have to return anything. Just... like I said, this is the one thing I'd be okay with you forgetting if that's what you wanted. Or... if you want me out of the manor, I understand that too."
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So he stopped for a moment, clenching and unclenching his hands a couple times, before he closes the distance between them. His cheeks were stained pink, and he looked unsure of himself but didn't stop him. Once he once close enough, one hand settled on his shoulder and he leaned in close.
"None of that." And then softly kissed his cheek.
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His ears pressed against his head as he looked at Ciel, swallowing again.
"What... what are we, then?"
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well, ever. At least, not by someone he knows and cares about and never so sweetly. Brief as it was.
"I'm not sure... I never... felt attraction to anyone before." He clears his throat a little. "Not with anyone my same gender."
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"You're super cute when you blush, you know that?"
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"Ah..! R-really?" That only made his blush darken a bit.
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Astre's lips were so soft and even a little sweet, probably from the dessert he likely had with his tea.